Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Reflections of a Man

I was looking through Pinterest and stumbled along a quote that caught my eye. I didn't think anything of it when one of my Instagram followers posted a similar quote, with the book title "Reflections of a Man" and how an amazing of a book it was. I did a lot of googling and eventually, (a day later) bought the book through Amazon.

This is such an incredible book and very eye opening. For the girl out there that needs guidance, for the relationship with confusion, and for the guy who's just not getting it, this book is for you. For me, it reminds me to be cautious with my heart. I have not found the love of my life yet but the little reminders give me hope. My absolute favorite quote from this book is as follows:

"Somewhere out there, there's a good man just as frustrated as you are that he has not found you yet; be patient. He won't give up on you.. don't you dare give up on him."

Yes. He IS out there. I cannot give up, settle, or doubt that he's not out there because hope is what keeps us going. I don't know when I'll meet him or who he'll be but I just have this feeling that I'll know. Until then, I am going to work on me and when God is ready for us to meet, it will be one of the happiest days of my life! Can't wait! 

 Click the book to buy on Amazon! :)
Click the link to buy on Amazon :)

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Weight a Minute

Weight has always been an issue for me. I was born underweight and I've always been skinny my whole life. I was constantly getting made fun of, with people asking why i'm so skinny and if I need to eat and why I have no curvature. It really irritated me because in this society, it's okay to ask a skinny person why they're skinny but absolutely not okay to ask a fat person why they're fat. It's a double standard. But anyway, that was my life up to the age of 21. My cousin passed away in 2013 and ever since then, the pounds have started to glue to me. I remember once sitting and watching TV and feeling so down that I ate an entire large pizza by myself. I went from 120lbs to 140lbs in a little over a year. I didn't know stress could change your entire body. Ever since then, it's been one stressful thing after another. From the cousin passing away, school not going well, not being able to find a job, having negative people in my life, always feeling down, finally finding a job and learning everything about it, and then attempting to start school again, it was one stress ball after another. I have tried to stay positive throughout the whole time.

I am not ashamed to say that currently I am 5 foot, 7 inches at 150lbs. I know what you're thinking - that's totally normal, what are you complaining about? Well to me, being at 120lbs my entire life and suddenly gaining 30lbs in a little over 3 years is a major shock. I remember the days when I was so skinny and prayed to God to gain some weight so other people wouldn't make fun of me. I mean, every time someone saw me, they would make some rude comment about how skinny I was. Someone even once said that if I turned sideways, I would disappear. *Insert rolling eyes emoji*

Now, I love my curves. I am SO happy that I was finally able to have some shape. I look back and wish I was at that number but then again I'm okay that I'm not. I would absolutely love to lose 15-20lbs but I'm also okay with where I'm at. Weight is just a number. It does not define you. I've made a deal with God that I promise to take care of myself & love myself, and that I will not step on the scale anymore. I know he has good plans for me, I just have to be patient. 

I was recently reading Jaclyn Hill's sister (Rachel)'s blog where she talks about her weight. She said something that really stood out to me.

Maybe one day, I will get back to 120lbs, but today is not that day. I'm ok with my curvy butt and my thick thighs. I will flaunt them and always love them no matter what size they are. So for those of you worrying about your weight and constantly stressing about not being the "perfect" size, it's okay. It's not worth the stress. Weight is weight. There are far more important things in life to worry about.. like that slice of pizza. Eat it. Love yourself and know that you are always beautiful! 

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Enjoy Life.

Recently, I've been visiting the doctor more than usual. My health hasn't been the best but I'd rather not go into that. Because of this, I haven't been feeling like myself for the past couple of months and honestly, I've been feeling quite low. Like I said in posts before, I believe that everything happens for a reason. I had a man call me, at work, and he had a question about his benefits, which I was able to help him with, and then we got into a conversation about life. This gentleman was about 80 years old and the things I was able to learn from him made me really rethink life. He was so happy and cheery and started telling me how his wife was cooking and somehow the fire alarm went off. He then had to open all the doors, but he only had his pajamas on, while it was only 10 degrees outside and how it was total chaos, yet was laughing the whole time he was telling me about it. Things like this would frustrate me and upset me, but because this man was able to laugh about it, shows that things in life happen and you can't get upset over everything, but rather laugh about it.

Sve je prolazno. Everything is temporary. My dad told me that once and whenever I get really really upset, that's what pops into my head. Everything is temporary. Like, when I'm in traffic and I regret my decision to let that sweet old lady get in front of me, but now shes driving at 5mph and holding everybody up and had I not let her in, I wouldn't be this behind. Well, it's temporary. She's either gonna turn or leave the lane at some point and I'll have a clear road in front of me. Kinda like life. Sometimes you're gonna have that sweet old lady taking her time and blocking your path but always remember that it's temporary. It will pass.

With this, I've learned to let it go. A lot of things bother me but life is short and anything can happen at any moment. You could be alive one day and gone the next. So, spend life with a little bit more laughter and joy. Even when your situation is horrible, try to find the silver lining and appreciate it. My health hasn't been the best but I am alive and I've made it so far. I have a feeling that God has really great plans for me and this is all temporary.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Get Ready With Me!

I made a quick YouTube video using the makeup products I love to use day to day. I usually don't do eyeliner, eye shadow, or lips because I don't have time to in the mornings. I pretty much just use the other things and sometimes skip a couple, depending on how much sleep I decide I want that day. Hope you enjoy!

Products Used:
*Used Best Damn Beauty Lip Mask prior to filming!*
Tarte Maracuja Oil
L'oreal Infallible Pro-Glow - 202
CoverFX Custom Enhancer Drops - Moonlight
Anastasia Beverly Hills Dip Pomade - Chocolate
Urban Decay Concealer - Light Warm
Laura Mercier Secret Brightening Powder
Kat Von D Shade & Light Palette
Makeup Geek Blush - Soulmate
Becca Cosmetics Shimmering Skin Perfector® Pressed Highlighter - Champagne Pop
Maybelline Eye Studio Eyeliner - Blackest Black
Morphe Eyeshadow Palette - Jaclyn Hill Favorites
L'oreal Infallible Eyeshadow - Iced Latte
L'oreal Voluminous Mascara
Maybelline Master Kajal
Nyx Lip Liner - Nutmeg
Nyx Liquid Suede - Soft Spoken

Sunday, February 19, 2017

It's OKAY.

I am such a Type-A type of person that I like to be perfect, in every aspect. I like to do my job perfect, I like to do my school work perfect, I like my health to be perfect. I like my makeup and vanity to be organized perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. I sometimes forget that I'm not a robot and it's okay that I'm not perfect.

When I was doing my undergrad, I would constantly have anxiety about graduating and finding a job and being in a stable career for the rest of my life. It was so overwhelming and so much pressure that I would just cry, but keep going. I didn't think to stop and actually process everything and if it was what I wanted to actually be doing with my life. All I wanted was a bachelor's degree and I did not care in what. When my last year of undergrad had a huge blow up, it was truly a blessing. It was then that I realized that my plans will never go accordingly. It was then that I finally understood what "So What?" meant. So what if I didn't become a teacher? So what if I didn't get the degree I thought I wanted. It's not the worst thing in the world. I still have my bachelors. I can't begin to describe how much anxiety I had over school. I was constantly stressed and worried about it. I would be on auto-pilot and wake up at 5am every morning, go to classes I had absolutely no interest in, hated the professors, didn't care for the learning, but jumped through all the hoops, then go through my internship that I was absolutely miserable in, and come home at 7pm and do it all over the next day. There were many signs and I just ignored them all. Then the huge blow-up came up and I decided this was not the path for me. 

Then, one day, it just hit me. SO WHAT. My life won't end because I didn't get the degree I went to school for. There are plenty of jobs out there and I'm bound to get one. It's going to be okay.

I don't like it when i'm not in control of situations and that was definitely one that I absolutely tried everything and simply could not control. My anxiety was through the roof. I gained so much weight. I was beyond stressed. 

Looking back, I am SO happy that it happened. I learned the biggest lesson of all. It's okay. I can't have control over everything in my life. Sometimes God's plan is way bigger and better than yours. I thought that I HAD TO get this degree and I HAD TO get this career or else.... there was no "or else". This was it. When I learned that this was not the path for me, I started to think differently. It's okay. Not everything goes as planned and that's okay. Go with the flow and see where it will get you. So, for anybody that's worried and has anxiety about something in their life, I want to tell you that it's okay. Take a break. Do something for you. Enjoy your life. It's not the end of world. Everything will work itself out in the end, I promise!