Saturday, May 27, 2017

May

May, you have been so good to me. I have done many things outside of my comfort zone and have even met a wonderful person in my life. I don't know where this will go but I'm hoping it will be for a while. I'll talk about that in later posts.

I have also had some not-so-good things happen in May. I have done some damage that I'd rather not discuss. I have also lost a very loving part of my heart, my grandfather. My grandfather that bought me my very first tricycle and gave me the biggest, tightest hugs of all. I miss him very much, but I'm glad that he's at peace now. I once read a quote that read "If death did not exist, we would be begging for it". I cannot express how true that is. Many people would continue to be sick and in pain. In that aspect, I am thankful for death. R.I.P. grandfather, I miss you very much. I will see you someday. El Fatiha.

With both the good and bad, I have realized that my month of May sums up the entire existence of life. You want life to continue to go one route without any setbacks or failures, in order to achieve your goals. God's plan is to strengthen you and to show you life is not all happy and great. The down falls can also show as lessons. Looking back at the month of May, I am thankful. Thankful for all the ups and all the downs. I promise to continue to look up when I am down, but also be mindful as to why I am, where I am.


Sunday, April 30, 2017

Laughter.

It truly is the best medicine. I'm sure we've all gone through days without laughter and the best way I can describe those days are like gray skies. They're calm and nice to look at, but also filled a somber mood, where you see life as black and white. I know that I've had some days, weeks, and even months, to where my life was nothing buy gray skies and seen as black and white. It was as if I forgot how to live life in color again. I missed the days where little things would just make me giggle and laugh.

I can say that my life has significantly improved. The reason being was that I decided that I wanted to live life in color again. I wanted to laugh at jokes and silly things in life, so now I do. Life is so short and can change at any moment so why not spend most of it laughing. I love when people have wrinkles because it signifies how much they've truly enjoyed their lives. I don't think I would ever want my own wrinkles to go away because then I would be hiding how much I laughed and loved my life. I hope to get many of them as I grow old.

With that being said, here are some funnies that I hope make you laugh as well! :)







Saturday, April 29, 2017

Exploring Life: YES.

I've been wanting to post but I've just been so caught up with life that I haven't gotten the chance to. I keep thinking about what I want out of this life and what I'm truly destined for. When you find something you find enjoyable, you just have this gut feeling that maybe, just maybe, that's what you're suppose to do in life. I have yet to find my absolute direct path and that's okay. Nobody knew what they wanted out of life overnight. Some women were destined to be mothers early on in life, some men were destined to have successful business careers and travel, and some people were destined to find the job that they absolutely love to the point where they don't even call it a 'job'. That third point is what I can't wait for. I've been dabbling a lot and I thought to myself, 'why not?'. The only reason I hold back is the fear of rejection. But with the thought of failure, you then are destined to fail.

I have always been told the expression '"If you don't ask, the answer will always be 'no'." I didn't truly realize what this mean until I had a conversation with our executive director about my job performance, to where he surprisingly ended up just buying me lunch. I have about 200-300 coworkers and about more than half do not know who he is, yet I was willing to take a breath, go into his office, and talk with him and ended up getting a lunch out of it! That made me realize that maybe I just need to go for it. Stop holding back and just go for it, whatever it may be.

I don't know what I want out of life, but I'm willing to try a lot and that's good enough for me. So here goes nothing!


Thursday, April 6, 2017

Generation Y

Millennials - (Birth between 1980s to mid-1990s to early 2000s) Known as the generation that was born into the boom of technology and has used it to their advantage.

Being a part of this generation has been the best. I have been able to carry a CD player, an iPod shuffle, an iPod nano, all the way up to now a Samsung Galaxy S7 to listen to music, and it's all within the span of less than 10 years. As technology starts to grow, so does my generation's thoughts and ways of life. For example, YouTube. YouTube was not known for quite a while and just a site that very few visited and has now evolved to make people's dreams come true. There are people who post on there and are getting paid per view, per ad, per comment or whatever it may be, to the point where their job is now posting videos whenever they feel like it and are getting paid for it. It amazes me because growing up, we didn't have this. I was always told that you go to school to get an education so you can then be certified to work a 9-5 job and do that for the rest of your life. I sat there thinking. The rest of my life. Wow. I'm not even 25 yet and I want to burst into tears at the thought of that. So by this standard, I would have to work for somebody else.. for 8 hours per day, 40 hours per week, with a minimum of 2 weeks of vacation out of 52 possible weeks in the year, with some leeway of sick time.. and to do this for 40 more years? Until I retire at 65? Do you know how crazy that sounds? I just cannot believe that people actually do this. I've already worked for almost 10 years of my life and I already can't wait to retire.

What bothers me the most about having a job is the fact that I have a boss. By boss, I mean somebody who can just pick me up and put me wherever they please and I have to do it because that's what they're paying me to do. I use to not care but it's really starting to bother me more and more. The fact that I can't do anything about it, is what is really irritating me. But I also see this as a blessing. Had I not had that thorn in my side, I would have never tried to explore other options. With my generation because so versatile in technology and expanding with social media, I have been experimenting the same route. If they can do it, so can I. Right?! I don't know what God has in store for me but I see everything as a sign and a blessing. I will take everything as it comes and thank Him along the way. We'll just have to see what comes out of it! I'm excited!


Sunday, April 2, 2017

Used.

"Covjek te cijeni onoliko koliko ima koristi od tebe." (A person only values you as much as they benefits from you.)

It's funny how your perception of someone is one way but it turns out to be completely different. I've built many relationships and friendships in my life with the intention of having a mutual trust and care for one another, whether it be a friend or family, or significant other, my intentions are true. I have always been the type of person to keep to myself so anybody wanting to get close to me would have to pry open my 50 million walls before they truly know me. Some of the people I know and talk to on a daily basis still don't even know me. I don't think there is a single soul that I can say truly knows me, other than my family.

Because I am a caring person, I get taken advantage of, a lot. I've found, funny enough, that people are only there for me when they need something from me. However, when the opposite comes along and I'm in need of their help, they are nowhere to be found. I know it's a saying and something girls put as their Instagram quotes, but I've had it happen one too many times to say that it's just cliche. There are far too many fake people that are too selfish and care for their own interests, to care for yours. For example, I had a friend who's close family member passed away. I consoled them, cared for them, even cried with them. When my cousin died, I heard nothing from this so-called "friend". Yet they expect you to still be there for them and care for them even though they refuse to reciprocate the same respect and care back. This is just one example but it's happened far too many times. It just confirms that humans are selfish and their own needs always overcome others, but perhaps I'm befriending the wrong people. I'm not saying I'm perfect but I've sat back and just watched it happened to me and can't help but think how some people's needs will always be above yours, no matter how much they say they care for you. If you're lucky enough to find the few that truly care for you and will be there for you, hold on to them because those gems are rare.